Greet Each Day with a Breath of Fire

Photo: Erico David. Pexels.

​“Greet each day with a breath of fire.” Maude 

With the passing of Bud Cort, who played Harold in the movie, Harold and Maude, one of my most favorite movies of all time, I have had a lot of the quotes from that movie come to mind. Today, I thought of Maude’s quote, “greet each day with a breath of fire,” which she says while making oatstraw tea for Harold in her train car house. 

I love Maude, she’s a Sage of Knowledge. When I grow up, I hope to be like Maude. She lived in a train car, stole a Volkswagen Bug from a priest, posed nude for her sculptor friend, and dated a twenty-something who she also taught how to live. She’s Divinity wrapped up in a tiny “eighty-year-old-on-Sunday” body. 

She reminds me that each day is a gift, even the hard days. You see, Maude spent time in the German Concentration Camps and yet she lived her life with such voracity and thirst, and FEARLESSNESS - something I lost along the way in my late twenties and throughout my thirties, when I tried to be a good mom and wife and school teacher. So much of who I am was oppressed back then, as I tried to live up to what I thought I was supposed to be. 

As I quickly approach fifty, I am not down with that anymore, and I’m also happy to be past the rage of my peri-menopausal forties. I had a lot of rage. I’m glad it is over, or at least quiet for now. While it was cathartic, it was also exhausting. 

Each day is a new day - a gift, that we should greet with a breath of fire. 

Yesterday, I awoke around five o’clock, as I usually do and felt a bit off. I wasn’t sure if it was something I ate the night before, but let’s just say my digestive system was unhappy. I debated on skipping class, but it was the early 90-minute OHY and Kate was teaching and I love that class so much I decided to go with the goal of being kind to myself and maybe not going as hard as the day before. 

I got to class and before it even began, I debated on leaving. I probably should have, but something kept me on the mat. Maybe ego? Maybe need? Maybe I didn’t want to disturb the other students by getting up, even though they probably wouldn’t have even noticed. We hadn’t even started and I was already feeling the wave of nausea. The class was full and that means it got hotter than usual and I struggled. I couldn’t do most of the second sets and even skipped out on the seated forward folds. I spent half of the class in Savasana, just trying to relax my stomach. 

Part of me felt embarrassed about it, but then I thought of how I’d talk to another student in my shoes and it went a little like this: 

“You stayed in the room. You listened to your body. You’re still new…this is only your 16th OHY class, ever! Be kind. Take care of yourself. Hydrate. Try again another day.” 

I had this conversation with myself on the mat in class before I left to go to the locker room where most of the women in there were talking about how hard class was today and how so many of them got dizzy and nauseated. I’m glad I stayed, because I’d not have had that community at the end. I also talked to a couple of brand new students and we all told them it’s not always like that and to please come back and give it another chance. 

I like to think that I greeted the day with a breath of fire, even if it didn’t go as planned. 

The remainder of the day was spent at work, where I did three tattoos with three awesome people. 

Yoga makes me a better tattooer. It makes me a better listener - especially OHY, where listening to and following cues is imperative to doing poses safely and correctly. It makes me a better mom as well. I am much more patient and understanding. 

Of course a lot of this is thanks to being alcohol-free, but I like to think the two together have improved my life immensely. 

I am grateful. 

Regarding the yoga teaching position…I sent in a resume with cover letter, which basically said I’d be interested in teaching, but am also happy to embody the practice for a while, because I am brand new to this style. I want to get trained in this style, because it is the most therapeutic style I have ever encountered in 25 years of practice. So, I kinda said I want the job and kinda said, “but not yet.” I don’t know if that was the best approach, but it was an honest one. I just didn’t want to let a possible opportunity pass me by without at last saying, “Hey, I’d love to be considered when/if you think I’d be a good fit,” or something like that. 

My resume had a typo in it and that mortified me. I should have worn my glasses when I made it, but I was just so excited and nervous when she asked me to send a resume that I jumped at it. I hadn’t made a resume in 20 years and unfortunately for yoga, I only have my certifications and a failed studio attempt and teaching one class a week. Not much at all for teaching experience. I re-read my cover letter and it seemed so stiff. Me trying to be professional….sometimes it translates well and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m passionate. I’m kind. I’m assertive. I’m determined. I’m teachable, but I’m not exactly polished and professional at all times. 

So, I don’t know what will come of it and to be honest, I’m okay with that. I’m in a season of practicing Aparigraha -  reaching for a goal or opportunity, but not attaching to the outcome. I’m happy to continue practicing and learning. Yesterday was a glimpse into how difficult the OHY can be fore people. It was the first time I ever thought about leaving the room. I think an experience like that is a good thing for someone who may eventually teach it. This is the type of embodiment I mean. I’m grateful for the journey, for the teachers and plan to continue there as long as I am able. I love it so much. 

In other news, a studio in a Northern Kentucky town has offered me their space to teach classes, so I’m offering a continuing education workshop there next month and will start a special monthly class for students there as well. 

I love the idea of traveling around to different places. I’ve always been a “Gypsy Soul” - I mean, it is in my Romany blood, after all. I prayed and prayed for community and it seems I am finding it. For this, I am so happy. 

Xx